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Wilt Thou Leave Me So Unsatisfied?
August 15, 2003, 6:01 p.m. I saw Elf-boy today, for the first time since . . . umm, the Wednesday after I got back. Three weeks ago? Since before he broke up with me. It was okay while I was there . . . but it felt . . . weird. We sat apart. We didn’t touch. There wasn’t any of that flirting that was the basis of our in-person dynamic. In the end, I walked away feeling . . . unsatisfied. I don’t know what I expected to happen – I suppose some part of me hoped he would spend some time with me, and realise he still loved me. I still love him, and it hurts. I don’t know how long I will, I can’t just stop loving people like he can. I just want to curl up and cry. I already started crying on the way home, which wasn’t good. It hurts to have tears freeze to your face. I just want someone to hold me, and tell me they love me. Someone who isn’t related to me.
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