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Beliefs
August 27, 2003, 8:56 p.m. I had my protestation defloration today (translation: I attended my first protest). I’ve never been to one before – not necessarily because I didn’t believe in the issues, or of the efficacy of protest, but I think because I was scared. I was a little worried today that it might devolve into some sort of altercation between police and students, but it was very peaceful. The only damage done was to some of the protest leader’s voices : ) But I went with friends, which was good fun, and I do seriously think this is a cause I have to get behind (which, by the way is against voluntary student unionism and fee increases). We started on campus, on the Front Lawn, and after some speeches and a bit of a naff dramatic protest (but come on, it’s blatant propaganda, how could it avoid it?), we headed off through the campus and onto Parramatta Road. The chanting was a bit hard to get into in the beginning – I felt a bit silly, but in the end I got into it, and it was fun. I feel like a true “feral leftie protestor” now, as Foreign Minister would so derisively put it (now that I should make into a badge). In other student-related news, next week’s Honi Soit (student newspaper/magazine) is being done by the Women’s Committee. Should I send in something inflammatory? I’m thinking about my Feminism vs. Equalism rant. Unfortunately, I’ve only got till the 29th to get my submissions in, so I better make up my mind soon. On a completely different note, something I found out yesterday – there are Christians out there who don’t believe in the Resurrection. Or that Jesus was the Messiah. They also deny miracles. This absolutely blows my mind. I was always lead to believe that the first thing a Christian accepts is that God walked the earth, died for our sins and was miraculously resurrected, all in the person of Jesus Christ. One of the reasons why I cannot call myself a religious person is because I cannot escape the conviction that there is nothing out there. But apparently there are Atheistic Christians out there who maintain there is no God, and Jesus was not resurrected, but that they are still Christians because they lead a life as advocated by Jesus. Does this mean I could call myself a Christian? I always thought I’d make an excellent Christian, if it weren’t for the whole not-believing-in-God thing. Now maybe I could make an excellent Christian in spite of that. No . . . I don’t think so. If you’re going to call yourself a Christian, or any sort of religious person, I think you’ve gotta believe in some sort of supernatural force. God, Fate, whatever – I could never call myself religious because I never felt there was anything ‘out there’. There was nothing looking over my shoulder, nothing putting the chess pieces in place so that I could win, nothing saying ‘it’s not for you, you will fail despite your best efforts’. I got where I am because of my will, my family and my luck. You know that bit in Signs, when Mel Gibson is talking to Joaquin Phoenix, about believers and non-believers? “But deep down, [non-believers] feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear.” Actually, it doesn’t Mel. I’m not scared that I’m on my own – it also means nothing but what I can change is stopping me from getting where I want to go, becoming who I want to be. And, plus, if I’m on my own, so’s everyone else. And that’s kinda comforting – solidarity in suffering : )
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