|
|
I Want Adventure in the Great Wide Somewhere
November 14, 2003, 4:44 p.m. Today is a beautiful day, and I can’t believe I still have to hand in a 3000 word essay on a bloody depressed, pessimistic German before I can go out an enjoy the gorgeous Summer-y weather. I’m having fantasies about these impending holidays . . . oh there’s so much I want to do! I want to go to the beach, I want to swim for the first time in three years, I want to go Christmas shopping, I want to make envelopes for everyone’s Christmas cards, I want to work and get more money, I want to go out with my friends, I want to meet new people (and maybe a certain new person, who will enter my life at some point, I just don’t know when), I want to work on my writing, I want to get a tan, I want to see Return of the King, I want to write my reviews, I want to design my layouts. It’s all before me, just in a few days. Everything suddenly feels like it’s standing on a precipice, that in no time at all, after the slightest change in the wind, it’ll fall off and then explode with wings and flight; suddenly things will happen and things will get done and dreams will be realised. It’s all about to happen. And Schopenhauer, you crazy, crazy German, I don’t care that you think this pleasure in expectation will be deducted from my pleasure of experiences, cause guess what? You’re wrong! Pleasure in expectation and pleasure of experience are two different pleasures, and I will enjoy each of them as they come to me. Because right now, the sun is shining and the world is beautiful – I have people to see tonight, and new makeup to wear, and it will all be lovely and charming and wonderful. Nyah : )
|