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Stay Away From Jazz and Liquor
February 04, 2004, 11:47 p.m. Okay, get over the liqueur Tim Tams already! They are not about to corrupt you children! Fer chrissakes, they’re one, read it: one, percent alcoholic, and you can only just taste it. They are not going to get your children drunk! Your children will not develop “a taste” for alcohol from eating them, either! What are you going to do? Declare war on all chocolate liqueurs? Frankly, I think it’s a sin to spoil chocolate by putting alcohol in it, but far be it from me to tell other people that they can’t, or even more people that they can’t enjoy them. Are you going to then move on to putting alcohol in all sorts of cooking? Build a bonfire of Gramma’s trifle? Release the hounds on French restaurants that serve flambé? Are you going to lock up Ian Parmenter?! And stop your incessant wailing about protecting the children from the big bad evils of alcohol. Maybe if you demystified the damn thing, if you stopped turning it into this huge forbidden pleasure, kids would stop getting trashed at 13. Maybe if you introduced it to them slowly, taught them how to drink responsibly, we wouldn’t have teenagers dying from fucking alcohol poisoning because the first time something stronger than Coke passes their lips they binge! It’s nigh unheard of here, I know, but in European countries, like France and Italy, they can drink in fucking moderation, because they’ve had (diluted) wine with dinner since they were children. My God people, grow the hell up! It’s a chocolate biscuit with alcohol in it, not the Devil himself!
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