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Ware the Ides of March!
March 15, 2004, 10:40 p.m. So, Ramona and I got married today. It was a lovely ceremony, held aboard The Black Pearl. The bride, me : ), looked stunningly meringue-y, in this creation bought over the internet. Ramona wore a swanky pin-stripe pantsuit, topped with a man’s hat worn at a rakish/jaunty angle. In attendance was the entire cast of The Lord of the Rings, the Sultan of Brunei, all our close friends and a cute guy Ramona picked up on the way there. Elijah Wood was, appropriately, the ring-bearer, and Billy Boyd sang Kiss the Girl. The Dread Pirate Roberts was best man, Faith (of Sunnydale fame) was matron of honour – both were eyeing each other off, so perhaps there’s a romance in the works there? It was a lovely ceremony, Cap’n Jack Sparrow acting as celebrant. Ramona and I wrote our own vows. “Ramona, Diaryland brought us together, Kingfisher Blue Derwents helped us realise our love, but only Captain Jack Sparrow could marry us. I promise to love you, help you pick up blokes, ridicule your taste in movies and laugh at your dorkiness for the rest of my life.” Ramona’s response was to kiss me soundly, at which point Cap’n Jack declared “Drinks all round!” and the celebrating began. I threw my bouquet of Kingfisher Blue Derwents (which Hugo Weaving caught) and then Ramona and I boarded the Sultan’s private jet to fly away on our honeymoon. I write from the onboard laptop now. We’re going to Ireland, to pick up cute Oirish boys with their cute Oirish accents. “You sexy bastard! Meet my wife! Billy Boyd sang at our wedding, doncha know? Now snog me!”
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